The Intimacy of Dance
Dancing for someone can be more intimate than sex–and its special brand of intimacy can be terrifying.
When I dance, I open up a part of myself that is only present when I’m dancing.
I’m connecting with my body physically, all the while asking you to connect with my body visually. I want you to feel as I move, whether that feeling is anger, pain, sadness, joy, or one of a hundred other emotions.
And all the while, whether you realize it or not, my movement is asking you questions:
- Do you like the music I chose?
- Do you like the way my body looks?
- Do you like my style?
- Do you like … me?
So many people become completely anxiety-ridden at the prospect of dancing for their partners — paralyzed with fear at the thought of dancing for the person with whom they share all of life’s other intimate corners.
I understand their fear at dancing for this person, though I have come to enjoy it (sort of). You’d think that dancing for the person who shares my bed would be fun and exciting. In reality, it’s far more unnerving than performing for a group of friends and acquaintances.
Because when I’m dancing for my husband, I’m dancing for the person whose acceptance, whose desire, whose appreciation, means the absolute most to me.
I’ve taught pole, lap, and floor work to women of every age, size, career, and personality imaginable. We are extremely different … yet more alike than we realize. What’s the one thing we all share? The desire that when we put ourselves on display through dance, our audience (one or many) will appreciate it, appreciate the gift we’re giving, appreciate us and our chosen form of expression.
I’ll leave you with this thought: you are part of your audience. Do you appreciate your movement? Do you appreciate the gift your body is giving you through your ability to connect with it using music? Dance first for yourself. For your own appreciation. For a sense of intimacy with who you are deep inside, in all those places of you that don’t have a safe place in everyday life.
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