I’ve been teaching pole since 2009, and in that time I have heard variations on the “I don’t feel sexy” theme so many times it would make your head spin (Get it? Spin? Haha, I crack myself up.)
- I’m a tomboy, I don’t know how to be sexy
- I’m too old to be sexy
- I just don’t know how to be sexy
- I’m not a naturally sexy person
- I’m too fat to be sexy
- I’m too skinny to be sexy
I have, at the tender age of 44, finally (FINALLY) made peace with my body. We’d had peaceful stretches from time to time, but I never really truly accepted it. Now I have. And you know what? I love it. I love my woman’s body. I am comfortable in my own skin, expressing my sexuality in a way that feels right for me and for my brain.
What makes you feel sexy and at ease in your skin? Is it dim lighting? Heels? Slow music? Or maybe it’s hair whipping and heel clacks? Or maybe heartfelt country lyrics and strumming guitars do it for you … or maybe soft shapes and long lines and expressive hands and feet do. Here’s the thing: it. does. not. matter.
What makes you FEEL sexy is what IS sexy. Period.